And how shall All Hallow's Eve find you?

I for one, will be doing what I usually do every year: putting on my grumpy, old-lady face and fuming at the crazy folks in costumes who overrun Downtown NYC for that humongo Halloween Parade on 6th Avenue. They make noise till the wee hours of November 1st, they accost you with a brazen, 'look-at-me!' attitude, and some of them even DARE to come trick-or-treating! Pshaw!

Obviously, I'm not into Halloween. I'm not about putting on some silly Wonder-Woman costume in 40°F temps. Not at all - costumery is more fun under the blazing island sun for Trinidad Carnival. And besides, pray tell why I should be jumping up with the evil spirits and their mates, as they slink around on their night?

Any which way, none of my bah-humbugs are going to stop you from joining the Oct. 31st revelry, I'm sure. Which brings me to the matter of costumed looks for Halloween 2009; what are you wearing? I say, if you're going to be making noise, prancing around in the cold and hanging out with the creepy-crawlies, don't look a hot mess in the process.

My costume suggestions? Go as JEM and the Holograms! If you don't know about Barbie and the Rockers' main musical competition, let me give you a quickie breakdown: Jerrica Benton is the owner/manager of Starlight Music, and in order to protect her interests after her father dies, she uses one of his creations - a jazzed-up holographic computer called Synergy - to transform into the singing sensation, Jem!

I loved, loved, loved Jem, and I still secretly watch old episodes on YouTube! To pinch the look, get thee to American Apparel for one of those scooped neck dresses, and cop that punk pink wig online to top off the ensemble. Throw on some long silver chains, a dangly earring or two, and pop into Target or Toys-r-us for a plastic mike.

Maybe you can even talk your pallywalls into becoming the Holograms to your Jem!

LMN Harris

NB Images courtesy American Apparel, Hasbro, and Candy Apple Costumes